Movie Review: Human Centipede II

The Human Centipede II took the first movie and shoved it through the forth wall and into your face. This movie was about a man (if you can even call him that) named Martin. Martin is your average creepy fat guy with an abusive mother, some type of retardation, and some type of obsessive disorder. Martin watched and was obsessed with the movie "The Human Centipede" he watched it on a constant basis and had his own plan, a plan to make his own mark on the world...

My Rating: 1/5

Like the first movie this one had a tendency to drag. However, unlike the first one, this one decided to make the draggy bits even more drawn out and painful.

The acting was certainly better from the beginning of the movie on through. They brought back Ashlynn Yennie  and it seems as though her acting had improved greatly since the first movie.

The story is basically summed up in the synopsis of the movie that you can read on the back of the DVD copy. There are no real twists until the very end and I am totally not telling you that because then you would send me a bunch of hate mail for giving a spoiler if for some reason you have not seen the film yet.


Now, before we go farther I want to get something straight with you dear reader. I love horror films, I love B movies, I love gore, I love boobies, and I love sick and twisted for the point of just being sick and twisted. That being said; this movie went way overboard in my opinion. The thing about violence and death is you need to give a reason unless you just blanket it and say "It's pure evil man!". The deaths in this movie were pointless.


THIS PARAGRAPH CONTAINS SOMETHING FROM THE MOVIE! DO NOT READ IF YOU HATE SPOILERS! Okay, now that I have covered my ass I have something to say about a particular scene in the movie. At one point a pregnant woman got away from the stupid kid/man and ran into a car pouring blood from her baby dispenser. After the man/kid tried several times to get into the car, and she tried several times to start the car. She suddenly slipped that baby out like there was not effort involved. Then she was able to turn the car on (gotta love those magic "starter babies") and she slammed on the gas. My problem is...in the process of stepping on the gas she crushed her new born baby under her foot...seeing this made ME sick to my stomach and my ex-fiance used to e-mail me castration videos and I didn't flinch as bad as that.


So here we are at my favorite part of reviews; would I recommend this movie to anyone? HELL NO, I don't care if all the other movies in the world were burned in a fire. I would not watch this movie again or let anyone I care about see this movie. There was even one scene that was nothing but ten minutes of explosive diarrhea and fart sounds. Give me a fuckin' break. The only reason this movie even got a 1 in my ratings is because it took effort to hold the camera and the camera man deserves that.