Going Through Changes

I did some thinking after getting a revelation. Yeah, I know, how did anything get through your thick skull? I hate when you interrupt me, especially with insults! No, in all seriousness I had made a decision and did some soul searching today.

First off, like Charlie Sheen, I am winning. Since my separation with Molly who I do care deeply about under all the insults and anger, I have lifted myself out of a depression I was in for the last four or five months of my engagement, I have gotten clean of all chemical dependencies and I am on my way to getting a great job. Yes, I got called for an interview at a great place to work and was told that they loved my history and would love to hire me. The Rick that was dating Molly is no more.

What does this mean for Rick? Well, it is time to do some spring cleaning. I have decided that I have no room in my life for people who won't be there for me through thick and thin. Not having room also means that I don't have room for them on my keyboard either. So, from this point on, no matter how much you might want to hear about it I am no longer talking about the people from my past that have hurt me recently. I am taking a stand and moving on. This is my life and the more I let what other people say and do take control over me the weaker I am. I have already started leaving them out of my thoughts, but know it is time to get rid of them entirely from my thoughts and not give them any room in the blog, in my heart, or in my mind.

I am better than I have been in over two years, I feel healthier, I feel fresher, I feel as though I have the world at my feet and all I have to do is bend over and grab it. This change has been happening over the past month actually but I did want to erase some people away until I got out what I needed to say. I actually say that all is forgiven to any and all who have hurt me. Not for them, no, for myself. If these people try to insert themselves into my life again they will be told that I have no room for bullshit, because my mind, heart, and soul is already full of me and the people who actually give a shit and have stood by me through all my mistakes. Anyone else is weak, foolish, and I don't need them. It is all about number one now. So, I say again. I forgive all that have heart me.

About Molly and Bob The Builder, I wish them the best. As stated earlier, I care deeply about Molly and I think that she just needs to get some things right in her life and she would be a wonderful, wonderful girl. Bob The Builder has had my support since we were in high school, so whatever he chooses I just wish him to be happy. That being said, forgiveness does not mean that I will give either of them room to hurt me again. Same goes for the other people that I am thinking about as I write this post.

The new Rick is better than ever before, and he will be that way forever, continually growing and plowing over anyone that steps in his way. I have finally realized that this is my life and no one can make me feel anything, except for myself. Let Karma deal with everyone else.

Winning,
Rick

Memories.

You ever Google your nickname or your real name? Well I Googled my common nick name on the Internet and I found a blog post I made in April of 2010. It must have happened during one of those points in my life I barely remember! Haha! Anyway, I thought I would post it in this blog so my dear readers can see how much I have changed since 2010.

Greetings all who may or may not care,

It is 2:56am here right now. Insomnia seems to have come back, I want to be up when my fiance awakens so I do not want to take my sleeping pills. It seems that Futurama, CSI, and Law and Order SVU (my old faithful friends) are not helping this time around.

Well I started a Blog. I have never really gotten the point of these, hell I even gave my fiance a hard time when she created one. I don't want to sit here and be fake with anyone who chooses to read this Blog so beware, when you read this you get the real me, no frills, no fake shit. Just me. I think I am going to post the link of this Blog up on DaeZig Public Forums and maybe Sinsira Forums and then just leave it at that. I honestly don't care who reads this or if I get a bunch of hits or whatever.

I find this ironic because I don't read Blogs. I don't CARE about Blogs. There are only three things that people create Blogs for (in my opinion); to bitch, to be fake, or to be dramatic. This time you are gonna find a Blog that really is not that exciting and you will find that I am trying to be as real with you as I possibly can. Huh....real...

What is real? How can you be real with others if you have such a hard time being real with yourself? Think about it, we are being told all the time that we have to trick ourselves. Especially with diets. "Hey drink a lot of water, or eat this bar, and you will FEEL like you are full!". What the hell? I mean it goes farther than that I guess. A lot farther...I spend most of my time trying to figure out if I am lying to myself or not, am I really a nice person like I think I am? Am I really as un-attractive as I feel? When I think I am right and I fight, and fight, and FIGHT my case...am I really right, or IN the right? So how can someone be real with someone else if they can't even be real with themselves.

I think I am starting to treat this like a journal instead of a Blog. I don't really get the difference anyway! (lol)

I have spent the last month thinking long and hard about my future. I think I missed something growing up. I am twenty years old and I still have a MILLION things I want to do with my life and NO way to do ANY of them. When kids are asked; "What do you want to be when you grow up?", they normally respond with "Fireman!" or something...how come the teacher or person who originally asked the kid what they wanted to be say something real like "Well, guess what, only so many people can be FireMen in this town! So if you want to be a fireman make sure that you work out and prolly join the military first! Also, don't think you won't have to work a fast-food job!" I don't know, maybe I was raised differently than the rest of y'all, but I was made to believe I could do ANYTHING I wanted.

Anything I want huh? Well now I find myself really disappointed. I can't even get that fast food job. Have you ever noticed that every place you apply for wants experience? The expect you to have experience even if you are semi-new to the job market. My dream? I want to be an actor. Simple as that. I want to act. HOWEVER...if I can't do that I want to do something that has to do with psychology. I was thinking of my goal being an FBI profiler. I just feel hopeless to be honest. I feel like there is no point in ever trying for anything but a minimum wage job. What good am I going to be to my future wife? Shit. Forget kids. What about just the two of US.

Well, I think I am going to leave it at that for now. My eyes grow tired, maybe I can get to sleep before four.

So, there it is. Funny huh? I still have insomnia, I still feel depressed sometimes but I think I have certainly grown since then. Funny how things change. I still want to act to but I realize how improbable that is. Well, I think this will be my last post before I go to bed. Yes, I still might post something later in the day but I feel like I am starting to post way too much.

Live, Laugh, Love,
Rick

Duh, winning...

Hello again dear reader! It is nice to see you again. I hope that you are liking my blog thus far. Today was a pretty uneventful day. I woke up, ate, played Dragon Quest and then watched some movies with my family (hence the three movie reviews in a row, WINNING). So, since nothing interesting happened today; let me tell you guys about the wonderful news I heard about a week ago.

If you are just tuning in you don't know about my recent separation with the woman I was supposed to marry, for the sake of my constant readers I will not rehashing that in this post so, get off your lazy ass and read this post if you want to know about whom I am speaking.

For those of you who remember the lovely Molly let's go back about a week in my life to the news I received. I was on IRC and one of my IRL friends asked me if he could call me, so being the good friend I am and thinking that he needed my support for some reason, I allowed him to take some of my time out of my day.

The reason for his call was not a selfish one, oh no, he had news for Mr. Rick. He had discovered that my best friend (known as Bob The Builder from this point on) had moved from Michigan to my state to live with, and have sex with my ex-fiance! Oh how I jumped for joy at the news! Seriously though, I was pissed. I had considered Bob The Builder a friend up until this point and told him all about what had happened between her and I that led up to that day. I even did not leave out the part like I did with you dear reader about her attempts to kill me, and threats to do the same.

So, here I am about two, maybe three, blocks away from MY old home (yes, my name is still on the lease), which contains MY bed, with MY sheets on it, and the HDTV that was bought for MY Christmas present last year and Bob The Builder is over there molesting everything that was once mine...including my ex-fiance. What a friend right? Well, what can one do huh?

1) Set trailer on fire (burn baby burn)

2) Knock on door when Molly isn't home and beat the living shit out of Bob The Builder.

3) Bend over and take it up the tailpipe.

Well, the first two are totally not going to happen because you know what, they aren't worth more criminal charges so I guess that only leaves option three. Why, you ask dear reader, why let this get to you after what she did to you? Well, no matter how much one can say they are over their fiancé of two years, three months still leaves time for some hurt to crawl back in like a brain ninja and slice your cerebellum into tiny pieces and laugh as you try to use super-glue to put them back together.

No, I don't really care. In fact I find it funny because I know what she is like, and I know that he is about 10x worse than I ever was when it comes to drugs, lust, lies, and laziness. I also know that the boy has some STD's that Molly just wouldn't like. So, let them do their thing. See if I care. I know they will when it comes down to it.

Movie Review: The Thing

It is Antarctica 1982 and something strange is found under the ice by Dr. Sander Halvorson. He finds an alien life-form and decides that he is going to ignore the warnings of all movies about aliens and dig it up. He brings in a graduate student to help him with the dig. Things (no pun intended...or is it?) start going amiss and it is up to this team of scientists and grunts to keep themselves alive.

My Rating: 4/5

The acting in this movie was pretty good in my opinion, especially from the star of the film; Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

The story was most certainly pretty damn good considering it is a new version of a classic John Carpenter movie. The story is full of suspense, twists and turns, and even gives you that hair raising feeling a good thriller movie should. You never know what to expect from on scene to the next. There is quite a bit of gore but not so much that it is ridiculous.

Would I recommend this movie to anyone? Duh. This movie is winning in my book. The only reason I took a star away and did not give it the full 5 was the ending. I hate movies that end and leave you hanging with no real hint or hope for a sequel. So, if you go to Blockbuster or log on to Netflix, or even visit a Redbox the night that you read this review, and you have not seen this movie. Go see it. It will not be a waste of your time. I promise you dear reader, and would I ever lie to you?

Movie Review: Human Centipede II

The Human Centipede II took the first movie and shoved it through the forth wall and into your face. This movie was about a man (if you can even call him that) named Martin. Martin is your average creepy fat guy with an abusive mother, some type of retardation, and some type of obsessive disorder. Martin watched and was obsessed with the movie "The Human Centipede" he watched it on a constant basis and had his own plan, a plan to make his own mark on the world...

My Rating: 1/5

Like the first movie this one had a tendency to drag. However, unlike the first one, this one decided to make the draggy bits even more drawn out and painful.

The acting was certainly better from the beginning of the movie on through. They brought back Ashlynn Yennie  and it seems as though her acting had improved greatly since the first movie.

The story is basically summed up in the synopsis of the movie that you can read on the back of the DVD copy. There are no real twists until the very end and I am totally not telling you that because then you would send me a bunch of hate mail for giving a spoiler if for some reason you have not seen the film yet.


Now, before we go farther I want to get something straight with you dear reader. I love horror films, I love B movies, I love gore, I love boobies, and I love sick and twisted for the point of just being sick and twisted. That being said; this movie went way overboard in my opinion. The thing about violence and death is you need to give a reason unless you just blanket it and say "It's pure evil man!". The deaths in this movie were pointless.


THIS PARAGRAPH CONTAINS SOMETHING FROM THE MOVIE! DO NOT READ IF YOU HATE SPOILERS! Okay, now that I have covered my ass I have something to say about a particular scene in the movie. At one point a pregnant woman got away from the stupid kid/man and ran into a car pouring blood from her baby dispenser. After the man/kid tried several times to get into the car, and she tried several times to start the car. She suddenly slipped that baby out like there was not effort involved. Then she was able to turn the car on (gotta love those magic "starter babies") and she slammed on the gas. My problem is...in the process of stepping on the gas she crushed her new born baby under her foot...seeing this made ME sick to my stomach and my ex-fiance used to e-mail me castration videos and I didn't flinch as bad as that.


So here we are at my favorite part of reviews; would I recommend this movie to anyone? HELL NO, I don't care if all the other movies in the world were burned in a fire. I would not watch this movie again or let anyone I care about see this movie. There was even one scene that was nothing but ten minutes of explosive diarrhea and fart sounds. Give me a fuckin' break. The only reason this movie even got a 1 in my ratings is because it took effort to hold the camera and the camera man deserves that.

Movie Review: Human Centipede

The Human Centipede was a thrilling story about three tourists in Germany who stumble upon, or in the case of one Asian, get taken by Dr, Heiter. Dr. Heiter is a crazed retired medical doctor who spent his career separating Siamese twins. Heiter has decided that now instead of destroying he wants to CREATE! Sounds fun right? Well what he wants to create and how he wants to do it is sick and twisted.

My Rating: 3/5

This movie had a tendency to drag at certain bits, but when it did pick up and get interesting, well, it was very interesting.

The acting in the first bit of the movie between the two female leads ( Ashley C. Williams & Ashlynn Yennie ) was a bit on the amateur side. However, I was not surprised by this since I knew before I watched that movie that it was a independent film. The acting did however improve as the movie progressed. It was almost as if they were getting acting lessons with the budget of the movie and taking them as they were filming.

The actual story of the movie I found lacking. I mean, really, why of all things does this man want to create a human centipede!? I could think of several things that he could make that would not be so unstable. Anyway, this is where my rating of the movie kind of suffered. I feel as though there should have been of a reason for him to be doing what he was doing to these poor sods.

So, it all comes down to the final question. Would you recommend this movie to a friend? Yes, I certainly think that I would, but I would warn them that it is graphic and has a lot of nudity. I would also warn my friend that if they don't like movies like House of 1000 Corpses or Hostel they should not watch this movie.

It's a little bit funny...

So, here I am again. I am actually starting to like this blogging thing. I feel kinda dumb because I missed the whole blog trend that the Internet went through. I used to be up on trends like you dear reader, but then I took an arrow to the knee! (Oh yeah, I said that). So, let me give you a little story about grandmothers.

Grandmothers, oh aren't they wonderful? They give you cookies, and coffee, and sugar, and then send you home to your mother laughing as she pulls out the drive. Yes, she just lit the fuse on a time bomb. The target? Your parents!

Well, my grandmother was like that for a while with me and my sister. Then she changed. It was odd really. She went from being the person that I could totally go hang out with, to demon spawn from hell. It seems my dad is right about her unlike all the other men who hate their in-laws.

I was about thirteen years old and staying with my grandmother due to some financial issues that my parents were having. We lost our home and I had to go stay with Grammy! Whoo! Boy was I wrong.

Everything was going great for about a week, maybe two. Then the her bangs parted and I saw her horns, and oh yeah, they were huge! So anyway she was at a diner with me and started calling my mom names like whore, useless, things like that. She was calling my step-father (who is still with my mother and whom I call dad) even worse names. I had had enough! Really, you don't talk about a boy's mother like that.

I got angry and told her not to talk about my parents like that. Man, she did not like that. She started yelling and cursing at me, she hit me, had my sister hit me, and threw me into her home office and locked the door. She called my aunt in Louisiana and started making plans to ship me and my sister down there.

Well, I had to get out of there. No, no way was I going to let my grandmother take me out of state to an aunt I barely knew. Let alone not be able to see my mother again. So, I did what any other good little boy would do dear reader. I started swearing at her through the door. Oh yeah. I was a big boy now!

She ended up opening the door and I ran out of the room pushing her on my way out. She started yelling again and said she was going to call the police, then she threw me out of the house and threw my shoes out with me. So, I put my shoes on and started the nine mile walk to the police station.

After about 5 miles, oh yeah gotta love police response time. A cop pulled over to the side of the road and asked if I was Rick. I told him yeah and he gave me a ride back to the police station. He picked up my sister and we sat there waiting for mom and dad to come rescue us. Anyway, gotta love grandmas right?


Live, Laugh, Love
Rick